It’s a Blue Rose!

My favorite flower is actually a Blue Rose, it’s because I love the color blue and I also love roses. I found this article, Blue Rose, do they Exist?,  in this forum http://www.gardenplansireland.com/forum/about485.html written by Ken Wilssens, that explains that the blue roses we found in the market is not a real rose but only a result of cross breeding done by scientist while they’re experimenting on how to make a real blue rose. Yes, I already knew before that there is no real blue rose, but still this is my favorite flower because it is hard to find and I know it’s a little bit expensive compare to the usual red or pink roses. Although,  Japan already claimed that they discover how to make a blue rose, still it is not yet in the market. I wish  and I hope that someday someone will give me a real Blue Rose….

I’m a MAV member!

Valentine is around the corner again, I thought at the first time I will be a resigned member of a MAV group, Mamamayan Ayaw sa Valentine (citizens that hate Valentine).  This group is just our joke since college everytime the valentine’s day is coming and we the so called member are all single and have no date on that day. I’m just discussing this with one of my collegues, i guess three weeks ago that for the first time this year I will not be a MAV member but unfortunately, again this year, like the previous year, after my bf broke up with me last week, I’m again a member of the MAV group. Anyway, I don’t hate Valentines Day but somehow I’m still hoping that Day will be special day also for me. As far as I remember, I received flower from a guy only twice on the Valentines Day since birth (or at least eversince I’m aware about valentines day) and both have no significant meaning such as because the guy likes me . The first one is during college when one of my friend forgot to give me a gift on my 18th b-day ( my bday is feb 5) and so he decided to give me a flower on valentines day as his bday gift instead. The other one is last year when my officemate have a spare flower (because the person that supposed to have that flower already left) and I tease him that I hope I also have a flower and he have no choice (maybe because of pity ^_^) but to give me that flower and an officemate take a picture of us…. hehehe.. pretending that I have a valentine date. Hmmm… one thing memorable that happen to me during valentines day is when me and my 2 close friend during high school have a fight on that day after they play prank on me. Oh yeah, I also remember a date during valentines day with my ex bf during college. He don’t give me a flower and brought me on a public park where he bought a sweetcorn with cheese (only 7 pesos that time) and he don’t even bought me a drink even after I act like I’m choking until I can’t handle the thirst and buy my own drinks. (tsk tsk I guess he really have no money). Anyway, I guess Valentines Day is just really for the people in love with each other but eventhough I have no special someone right now, I still have lots of love for my family, my friend and myself….

Is it Love?

I know that this is not the first blog describing what is love, but i think it is one of those blog where the author just broke her heart. Yes, I am a recently broken hearted person, and the guy broke up with me on the day before my bday….Okay, what is love from a recently broken hearted girl? for me, love is still the MOST Wonderful thing in the world. And to be inlove is still the BEST feeling a person can have.The best description of love can be found in 1 Corinthian 13: 1-13;
If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give away all I have, and if I deliver up my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing. Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends. As for prophecies, they will pass away; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when the perfect comes, the partial will pass away. When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I gave up childish ways. For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I have been fully known. So now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love.

To Hate or To Love

It’s my third post that shows my reflection. It really hurts when someone you love so much leave you… but eventhough I have a broken and bloody heart, I still can’t hate the man who gave me this hearthache.  I don’t know why, maybe we just have so many beautiful memories together that whenever I think of those I just can’t help to smile… although the pain is still here and get worse everyday he’s not beside me, looking back at our  old happy picture stop my tears and a smile register on my face… i don’t want false hope and negative idea.. but I know deep inside myself, he is the only man I love this much and although fate is not good on our love story.. LOVE still emerge above all the HATE…

It’s You!

It is you,

the man that I loved,

the man who left me behind,

yet I never hate you.

It’s you,

the person who give me happiness,

the person who is my best friend,

and yet you’re the reason of my sadness.

 

 

Yes, it’s you,

the one who cause all of this pain,

the one who leave me in this despair,

yet it’s still YOU the MAN that I LOVE!

Deep Inside

 

A big heart,

A mix emotion,

A tears that are about to fall…

 

Pulpitating heart,

Rising temperature,

Aching arms and legs,

A sicken feeling.

 

I want to scream,

I want to cry,

I want to jump,

A mix emotion.

 

Why do you have to leave me?

I’m so alone without you,

Please help me Lord,

I need prayers to continue…..

 

Sometimes I found a stranger inside me..

Most of the time I knew myself very well, I know how to react if this is a situation or I know what to say in front of a certain person. But sometimes I have this strange feeling that I know nothing about myself, that I started and ended the day as a “day” it’s just like I sleep and woke up and forgot the dreams I’ve just have. It’s a strange feeling that a month goes by and yet I can’t remember what happen during those days.

 It’s not a sickness, I’m still young to have a dementia….

 I am a person who have a great passion in learning. I believe that you can learn something in every minute of your life. When you wake up in the morning and find out that it’s still very dark (conclusion: sun is not yet up at 4:00 am), find out you have a bad breath when you smell something bad after you yawn (you should brush your teeth before you sleep), burning a slice of bread with cheese after putting it in microwave oven for 2 minutes(better by 30 seconds I guess ^_^),  make it sure that you ready your toothbrush when you push your toothpaste tub or it will pour in the sink ^_^. Watch a morning news while ironing clothes (but make it sure that you are alert or you will burned your clothes). And other simple things that sometimes we disregard but still we learn something on it. I am also a person that believes that doing the same mistakes again means stupidity. We should learn something in everything we do. 

But there are days that  I disregard learning,  and there the stranger inside me emerge. I’m sinking in a great depression. Wishing that I’ll die like I will not wake up for the next day… maybe you find these things stupid, and maybe you’re right. But a perosn without passion is already a dead person… and whenever my passion for learning is gone I feel like a dead person. It took me a lot of self motivation to pick up all the broken pieces of myself until I’m one person again, the one I knew since birth….