I’m Inlove with “The Time Traveler’s Wife”

Finally, I’ve finished reading the “The Time Traveler’s Wife” book by Audrey Niffenegger. It took me 3 weeks because I have lot of things to do and I seldom have the time and urge to read it. It was just an accident when I bought this book. I am actually looking for a present( a twilight saga collectors set) for a friend. And then I realized that I’m done reading (for the second time) my own 4 books of Twilight saga and a vampire story(Bloodline) book I bought in a book sale, so I need a new book to read.  I’m back on reading books just to balance my life, because I’m actually spending a lot of time facing the computer (coz of my job, of course) and seldom interact with other people ,aside from my family, (the disadvantage of working at home).

At first, I’m confused of the story because I find it hard to visualize it since I haven’t seen the movie yet and maybe because I’m still hooked to Stephenie Meyer style in her Twilight Saga book. I found Meyer’s writing somehow simple and easy to understand while Niffenegger’s writing shows a different approach (although I idolize her style of describing the settings and characters). And time’s travelling is somehow hard to visualize compare to vampires and werewolves.

I even found it boring when I’m in the middle of the story ( in the start of henry and clare living at the present). But what really amazed me and I really praise the author for this is the love story involved within the character. The author describes the character in a much realistic person. Person who are in love but yet commit mistakes and betrayal to their partner because their just human. Not just those character in other love story that are very strong in temptation which made other miserable hopeless romantic person like me expect for this perfect guy/girl to come along, but in a sad reality nobody can be like them. I mean clare is so inlove with henry and yet she made love with gomez when she got drunk and lonely while henry is not around. Unlike bella who likes jacob so much but became a hypocrite and martyr for edward’s sake (c’mon, is there really a person like that? I mean when you’re not with somebody at a time, even though you love someone else, it’s really hard to resist that kind of temptation).

When I finished the book, It was overwhelming, I mean the love story within it. It’s different. Not bound by time and place. I really cried when the story sink in my being. I mean, after I finished it I understand the story wholly, all the confusion is gone. I’m hoping that the movie catch the love story marvelously. I observed that all the book that’s been turned in movie are not that good compare with the story on the book itself but I’m still hoping…

Kudos to the writer and publisher of this book. I know I promised a friend that I will give her the book after I’ve read it. But I’m really SORRY aiza! I can lend you the book but I can’t give it because it is worth keeping and repeating. ^_^

My Love Story

They say first love never dies

but for me it’s not true.

Because if it is not true love

there will always 2nd, 3rd and fourth too.

And my first love is not my true love and so it is only a past,

that made my mind wiser and also  is my heart.

And my true love came by

exceeding my expectation

Because he’s not just any guy that got my attention.

He made my mind boggles and my heart throbs like thunder.

He gave me a happy smile and a peace of mind like no other.

I know this is true love

because even a simple “hi” from him makes my heart jump,

and a single day not seeing him made me want to cry.

But my mind is above my heart,

Always so cautious

Telling me not so fast.

“What if he’s like the first one?

be cautious save your heart!”

And so I made a stupid decision

testing him and his love,

But at the end I’m the one tested

“He is not like that!”

So my heart overflows with love

and surpass my minds warning.

He became my world

My only true love which is everlasting.

But just like any stories

twist and conflict came by

And so my one true love

gave his farewell,

he said ‘goodbye’.

And since it’s true love

my world got devastated

My heart shattered in pieces

I don’t know how long I can take it.

And thankful if I can say

that my mind is above my heart

And it’s keep me telling

“Hey, move on you still have your life!”

I don’t know how I survived

without a pulse or a beat in my heart.

Perhaps it’s my mind,

I’m living without a heart.

And then our path crossed again

And I felt a small beating

I know it is my heart,

hey it’s now throbbing.

And then my mind above my heart

said “What are you doing?”

For the first time,

my heart said

“I don’t care as long as I am beating!”

So I disregard my principle,

my pride and my mind warning.

Just to be with him this one more time

‘I don’t care’ as long as I can be with him.

But then again,

here he goes again

telling me to stop.

“Let’s just be friend”

he said to me.

Well, how will I react.

I just smile,

an empty smile.

I think my heart

just froze.

My mind above my heart tell me,

“What else could be worst?”

And so I vowed

and conceived

as I accept his

torture truce.

My mind which is above my heart said

“Hey, this is better

friendship is much longer.

Just find another

who will love you much better.”

So I did what my mind said

and find some other guy

who loves me more

but it’s a mistake

a big mistake

because it made me miserable.

I can’t be with someone

who will never give me a happy smile

or one who can’t make my heart beats

what more to make it throb.

So I ended being miserable

and promise to myself.

If I can’t be with my only true love

Never with someone else

better be his friend forever

at least friendship last longer.

And now my love story end

don’t tell me it’s not real

because until now I can feel

the throbs in my heart

when I received a simple “hi”

from him and only him.

He’s the only one who can make me cry and laugh

at the same time.

The one who gave me nightmares and sweet dreams every night.

But I never expect anything from him as I already decided

that from this day and so on my love story is ended.

The Journey

I forgot a special chapter of my life in my post yesterday. I remember it this morning and I said to myself that I should include it. But instead of editing my post yesterday, I will just write a new post today.

The chapter I’m saying is after graduation of college, I took up a 4 months training as a caregiver in a Japanese retirement home in Laguna wherein I also have 2 months OJT (internship) in that retirement home. Although I experience a lot of confusion, rejection and disappointment, I learned a lot from them. First of all, being in a medical institution was a big transformation for me. I learned a new language (medical language), everything was new, and I learned a lot from my patients. I have a favorite of 3 patients, although all in all, I experience to tend 6 patients. They are my favorite because I learned a lot from them. The first one is a retired military man aged 79, during the first week that I was assigned to him, I really cried a lot but then we became friends and stories he was telling was really wonderful and I learned a lot of things from his experience. The second one was a very beautiful rich woman, which I always pity especially when I met her family. I know she does not deserve to be in a nursing home but I’m still glad that I met her because he reminded me to care for the elders in my family (especially to my own grandmother). The third one was a very nice Japanese woman, which was very kind and funny. She is good in English and she loves teaching me Japanese words. I really miss them and I hope that they are okay even though I’m not sure if they are still alive or not but I’m praying that GOD will take good care of them.

When I remember the things from my past even if it was not a good memory, I always look for a good thing that came up when I experienced those things. Because I know that it was GOD’s will for me to experience it and met lot of people from those experiences. That was HIS GRACE and those people were ANGELS that HE sent for ME, because I will never be the person I am right now if I did not met those people in my past. THANKS GOD! And GOD BLESS those PEOPLE I met and I will meet someday!

–Jennifer R. Natividad

September 23, 2008

The Journey of My Life

I was born in an average family with an average income and average lifestyle. I have 3 brothers and 1 sister which are more beautiful than me. When we were young, they always teased me and I became the center of the jokes in the family. But my parents loved us so much; they did everything to give us a good life (education and basic commodities). They even made sacrifices (like working abroad) just to provide us a better education and lifestyle. My siblings are my best friends, I can tell them everything (even my crushes) although we quarrel; I will still not exchange them to anyone. My two older brothers gave us 4 nieces and 1 nephew and of course 2 nice sister-in-laws.

I started to enter primary school and I encounter rejection and disappointment every time I wanted to please my teacher to give me a high grade and when I wanted to belong in a group. But I met a lot of friends and I learned a lot of things like the stars, moon and planets and plays games like piko, tumbang preso, patintero, chinese garter etc. I also have fond of laughing when my friends tell jokes and blushes when my crushes walked by.

I enter secondary school and I encounter more rejection and disappointment but I met a lot of new friends and I belong to a circle of girl friends where I felt that I am loved and accepted a lot. They are true friend that I have fond of crying and laughing with. I treasure them until today and forever as they became very good friends.

A wonderful high school life ended and a new trial is ahead when I enter college and puberty. I encounter a lot of rejection and disappointment as I strive to belong in a new world where my old friends are nowhere to found. I also encounter a heart break from the first man I loved but I learned a lot of things from my professor, from my new friends and from every people I met everyday. I learned to analyze life and society, I learned to look at different views, listen to different opinions and I learned to decide for myself. My first writing was published when I joined the college publication. Although life at my first college was neither smooth nor ended wonderfully, still I will not try to go back and change it for a better future because I will never learned and grow to a person like me today if I did not encounter all those trials, rejection, heartaches and disappointment.

So my life continues when school ended and I’m in a different world, the corporate world. My first job involved numbers, computation, analyzing and clerical work (such as scanning, photocopying and answering telephone calls). And after seven months of doing this that I don’t like to do; the repetitive scanning, counting and answering stressful phone calls, opt me to quit. And I became a quitter. But I learned a lot; the job itself, the corporate world, the people in the corporate world and I found new friends that always make me laugh and companions wherever I want to go. I also met a wonderful person which I loved so much until now.

My second job is quite an accident, it is another challenge and I encounter new rejection and big disappointment. My second jobs involves teaching but I became more of a learning teacher as I tried to teach little angels to use computer and create website, they teach me how to look back to my childhood and be fond of what I have while bringing out the child inside me. I learned to loved and be loved unconditionally. My students teach me a lot of things and even my co-teacher as I became more confident with the talent GOD gave me. And I never became ashamed to show to the world what I can do and what my brain have to say. But still the quitter emerged.

So I find a new job where I encounter more challenges, disappointments and even harassment. And now I’m thinking of quitting. But whenever I look at the bright side; to all the new things I learned and whenever I look to all the new friends I met, specially my new housemate which I gave and given me trust, companionship, friendship and love, I always felt that I am BLESSED.

I know that this journey is still a long and not an easy one, where I will encounter a lot of bumps, traffic, detour and even a closed road. But as long as I remain a PASSENGER and GOD is my DRIVER, I know that I will always be at peace because I am safe while journeying this road called “My LIFE”.

— Jennifer Natividad—

September 20, 2008

Our Hopes

Our national hero, Dr. Jose Rizal said; “Ang kabataan ang pag-asa ng bayan.” (the youth is the hope of our contry)

I am thinking, is this statement still applicable on our youth today? and on the youth of the next generation?

Poverty, Drugs, Sex, Pornography, Violence, Exploitation

These are the factors that affecting the mind and behaviour of our youth.

I am riding a bus this morning, when a child, about 10-11 yrs old, distribute an envelope asking for “barya” (coins) to buy food. Poor child. If you are going to ask me if I give her a money, my answer is no. why? It’s because I’m not sure if she is just a victim of poverty or exploitation. Even though she’s a victim of poverty, it is better to give her food than money. Nowadays, there are lot of people/organization that are exploiting children, they are using them to ask money for themselves. On the other hand, some street children asked for money to buy on Drugs.

Nowadays, sex is also an ordinary topic for the youth, that is why lots of them bear children before they reach their twenty’s. Violence during childhood, specially if this is inflicted by their parents or relatives, mark on their minds that creates an untrustful youth.

If this will be the scenario for our youth, will they still be OUR HOPES?

Behind their Smile!

I saw these photos taken by a friend. It’s really nice..

They are streetchildren and behind their smiles is a reality of life that they endure… poverty!

Playing in the dangerous street, asking for food or money to buy food, swimming in a flooded street…

and still, they can SMILE!

How about you? do you have lots of problems? are you always pressured in your jobs? and because of these things, you CAN’T SMILE!

Pity.. look again on the above photos and remember, they are street children and at the young age, they encounter a very serious “cancer” of our society and STILL THEY ARE SMILING!

FLASHBACK!!!

It’s been a while since my last post… I have this funny feeling when I saw my ex yesterday. I don’t know how to explain this but I know the truth that I still love him despite all the things.. and although I still love him that much I already accepted that we will not be together again and we we’re only just friends. But our meeting yesterday brought me a lot of memories.. a flashback!

Eat Healthy… Don’t avoid all FATS!!!

The Facts on Fats

Fats and oils contain many different fatty acids that affect the body in various ways. They fall into two main categories: saturated and unsaturated fats. Food fats almost always contain both saturated and unsaturated fatty acids and are classified as saturated, monounsaturated, or polyunsaturated depending on which fatty acids are present in the greatest concentration. Studies show that the type of fat you eat may be as important as how much you eat.

The Good…

Unsaturated fats can help lower LDL-cholesterol levels when they replace saturated fats in your diet. There are two types of unsaturated fats: monounsaturated and polyunsaturated.

Monounsaturated fats, which are liquid at room temperature, have been found to lower LDL-cholesterol levels. They are found predominantly in olive, canola, and peanut oils, as well as avocado, some nuts, and seeds.

There are two kinds of polyunsaturated fats: omega-3 and omega-6 fats.

Omega-3 fats are found in fatty fish such as salmon, mackerel, herring, and sardines, as well as flaxseed, walnut, and canola oils and some newer products such as omega-3 eggs. These fats help prevent blood clotting, which can trigger a heart attack or stroke. They also help lower triglycerides, which can decrease your risk for heart disease.

Omega-6 fats are found in foods that come from plant sources and are liquid at room temperature. Food sources include safflower, sunflower, corn oil, some nuts and seeds such as almonds, pecans, brazil nuts, sunflower seeds, and sesame seeds. These fats should be eaten in moderation since they still will contribute to your total calorie intake.

The omega-3 and omega-6 fats in your diet provide the two essential fatty acids that your body cannot produce on its own. Omega-3 fats provide alpha-linolenic acid and omega-6 fats provide linoleic acid. These two fatty acids are essential to health and must be provided by foods you eat.

Experts now believe that the ratio of omega-6 fats to omega-3 fats in our diets is too high. While omega-6 fatty acids do not increase levels of LDL (“bad”) cholesterol, they may decrease levels of HDL (“good”) cholesterol. They appear to contribute to the production of some cell-damaging free radicals. You can shift your ratio by getting more omega-3 fatty acids from fish and other sources.

…The Bad…

Saturated fats generally come from animal sources—meat, poultry, eggs, and dairy. The plant sources of saturated fats are coconut oil, palm oil, and palm kernel oil. A diet high in saturated fats can raise blood cholesterol levels.

…And the Ugly

Trans fats are a particular kind of fat created when a vegetable oil undergoes a process called hydrogenation. This process is used to make liquids more solid and is commonly used by industry to prolong shelf-life.

These fats act similarly to saturated fats by raising LDL cholesterol levels. These trans fats are found in partially hydrogenated vegetable oils and some margarines. They are also found in a wide variety of packaged foods such as crackers, cookies, and commercially baked products and in many commercially fried foods.

From: Change One, Reader’s Digest Canada

Nightmare

As I closed my teary eyes

I saw a vision of your face

A face with full of sadness and goodbye

And I screamed to make you stay…

And then you’re gone,

And tears flows on my face

As I saw a footprint of our memories

Then the waves come and wipe it away…

I realized that this was just a dream,

A nightmare that haunt me,

And all I need is to open my eyes

And this nightmare will go away…

And so I open my eyes,

Looking for your beautiful face,

But then you’re gone

And the nightmare is not yet over.

It’s a Blue Rose!

My favorite flower is actually a Blue Rose, it’s because I love the color blue and I also love roses. I found this article, Blue Rose, do they Exist?,  in this forum http://www.gardenplansireland.com/forum/about485.html written by Ken Wilssens, that explains that the blue roses we found in the market is not a real rose but only a result of cross breeding done by scientist while they’re experimenting on how to make a real blue rose. Yes, I already knew before that there is no real blue rose, but still this is my favorite flower because it is hard to find and I know it’s a little bit expensive compare to the usual red or pink roses. Although,  Japan already claimed that they discover how to make a blue rose, still it is not yet in the market. I wish  and I hope that someday someone will give me a real Blue Rose….